Golf Truths

1. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

2. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either
hit one more club or two more balls.

3. If you are afraid a full shot might reach the green while the group ahead are still putting, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball half way there.

4. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share
his ideas about the golf swing.

5.If it isn't broke, try changing your grip.

6. Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.

7. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

8. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's

9. It's surprisingly easy to sink a 50 foot putt when you lie 10.

10. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is
like expecting  him to make fun of his own haircut.

11. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

12. It's not a gimme putt if you're still away.

13. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is
a straight line  that passes directly through the large tree.

14. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces just
the way you intended to play it.

15. You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time and a 2-inch branch
on a tree 90% of the time.

16. Every time a golfer makes a birdie he must subsequently make three triple-bogeys to  restore the fundamental equilibrium
of the universe.

17.If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods, simply
try to lay up just short of a  water hazard.

18.To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply
the speed of his backswing  by his handicap. 
Example: backswing 20 miles per hour, handicap, 15, downswing
300 m.p.h.

19. There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at
the top and checking the position of your hands:
how many hands you have, and which hand is wearing the golf glove.

20. Hazards attract; Fairways repel.

21. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away, it is not yours.                            

22. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your
ball is in the bunker.

23. If both balls are in the sand, yours is in the footprint.

24. Don't buy a putter until you have had a chance to throw it.

25. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination
of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you
to compensate for all your errors.

26.Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself
you forget to hate your enemies. ---Will Rogers